1) How many of the prizes below are real?
A. Nobel Prize
B. Abel Prize
C. Bibel Prize
D. Tribel Prize
2) Which one of the above is odd-one-out?
3) Which one of the above is odd-one-out in a different context?
4) Mention both the contexts.
5) Can you consistently extend the above prize list? If yes, do it.
Superspace Explorer, Path Localizer, Discharged Photographer, Outdated Programmer, Jack of 'all' Solvers
Will share my experiences on this auspicious day later… For now, enjoy this video where John Hodgman elucidates “Why is Love?”:
Superspace Explorer, Path Localizer, Discharged Photographer, Outdated Programmer, Jack of 'all' Solvers
Spring Semester of this year 2010 starts tomorrow here at Stony Brook. I am registered for Advanced QFT (once more!) and the usual seminar courses! That’s enough about Physics on this blog!
Now, spacetime for some of the tidbits I’ve been thinking about in the past few weeks for this post:
Oxymorons (in no particular order!):
Noise of the Silence!
Listen to the Silence!
Thunderous Silence!
Deafening Silence! (Quite common!)
Lightning Darkness!
Darkening Light!
Light Burden!
4Kgs of Nothing!
Bladeless Knives (with no Handles)! –A joke about Nothing
Caste No Bar! Colour No Spells! –Matrimonial Ads
Obfuscating Truth!
Truthful Lie!
Turn Left, right? –Me at cross-roads!
Rise of the Fallen! –Transformers: ROTF
Descendants have Evolved!
Gauge Fixing Breaks Gauge Invariance! –W. C. Gall
Unbearable Beauty! (like Naked Beauty & Bare Bottom!)
Pretty Ugly! –A joke
Unthinkable Thoughts!
Unmentionable Mentions!
Dry Rain! (If there can be dry ice…)
Wet Flame! (Why not?)
Blue as Black!
White as Black!
Grey as Black/White! (I’ve no idea what I’m writing?)
Rainbow, Hail-arrow! (Rainbow Warrior!)
Wise Fool!
Dumb Genius!
Bounded Gods!
Death of an Endless! –The Sandman by Neil Gaiman
Pure Evil!
Startling Serenity!
Troubling Tranquility!
Unnerving Nerves!
Fading Weather-proof Paint!
उम्र के चढ़ाव का उतार / Umra ke Chadhaav ka Utaar (Fall of Rising Age!) –Gopaldas ‘Neeraj’ in his well-known poem: ‘कारवाँ गुजर गया / Kaarwaan Gujar Gaya (Caravan has passed)’
Some oxymorons from Sketchbook:
Angry Sora? Really…
Silent Natsumi? Hey, You!!!
Spendthrift Hazuki? 70 or 10???
Composed Kate? WOW!!!
Boring Asaka? KamiyaGON!!!
Normal Kokage? Sloths aren’t Lazy???
Dumb Nagisa? Biotope Caretaker!!!
Wakeful Juju? Oh! I slept…
Serious/Grave Ryou/Fuu? Don’t tell them!!!
Sincere Suzukaze Combo? HAHAHA!!! :)
Calm Daichi? Why YOU???
Absconding Ujou? Keep quiet!!!
Omnipresent Tsukio? Who again???
Mature Kasugano-Sensei? Trick or Treat???
Childish Asakura-Sensei? Grow up!!!
Ignorant Ao? Are you okay???
Fearless Pii-chan! EeeAahh…..Kyaaaa!!!
It is sad that no one is going to appreciate the above compilation! Anyway, this is enough writing for today for almost no (⇒0) readers out there! So finally,
Superspace Explorer, Path Localizer, Discharged Photographer, Outdated Programmer, Jack of 'all' Solvers
As is usually said, pictures speak louder than words. So, look at the video below:
There is some problem with audio after 2-3 numbers are filled in: it speeds up wrt the video! But you get the idea, don't you?
Anyway, I'm not writing any more. I'll just leave you with the following end-of-the-post-link: (unlike last year, there won't be a one-post-per-year condition this year!)
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Here's the first post of the year 2010 which is basically to wish you – one of the very few readers of my blog –
A Very Happy New Year! Enjoy the new days, weeks, months and the year that is 2010!
Do the following: Replace ‘0’ in 2010 with the sum of neighboring numbers: 2010 –> 2311; Now, separate the 4 numbers into two pairs: 2311 –> 23 & 11; Realize that: 11 = II in Roman which means this is the Second instance of me getting:
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…by introducing Waseem Barelvi, i.e.
वसीम बरेलवी
I don’t feel like giving any ‘long’ introductions in this post so to get familiar with the format of this post, check out this post. But before we begin I will ‘re-iterate’ the fact that the translations in this post are not-at-all on par with the original shers. They are just a part of my brain’s effort to continue having faith in the belief that ‘I know English’ and also a sympathetic heart-felt apology to those few Hindi/Urdu-illiterate souls who get lost on the web and end up here once-in-a-while. I will also emphasize that BETTER Translations from my readers (occasional or frequent) are always welcome! So lets begin…
मैं इस उम्मीद पे डूबा की तू बचा लेगा,
अब इसके बाद मेरा इम्तेहान क्या लेगा!
ये एक मेला है, वादा किसीसे क्या लेगा,
ढलेगा दिन तो हर एक अपना रास्ता लेगा!
मैं बुझ गया तो हमेशा को बुझ ही जाऊँगा,
कोई चिराग नहीं हूँ जो फिर जला लेगा!
कलेजा चाहिए दुश्मन से दुश्मनी के लिए,
जो बेअमल है वो बदला किसीसे क्या लेगा!
हज़ार तोड़ के आ जाओ उससे रिश्ता, वसीम,
मैं जानता हूँ वो जब चाहेगा बुला लेगा!
Main iss ummeed pe dooba ki tu bacha lega,
Ab iske baad mera imtehaan kya lega!
Yeh ek mela hai waada kisise kya lega,
Dhalega din to har ek apna raasta lega!
Main bujh gaya to hamesha ko bujh hi jaaunga,
Koi chiraagh nahin hun jo phir jala lega!
Kaleja chahiye dushman se dushmani ke liye,
Jo be-amal hai wo badla kisise kya lega!
Hazaar tod ke aa jaao usse rishta, Waseem,
Main jaanta hun wo jab chahega bula lega!
I drowned thinking you'd save me,
Now how else would you test me!
Which promise do you seek in this carnival,
After the Sunset, they'll continue their travel!
If I die once, I will be forever extinguished,
Am not a candle that can be again ignited!
It takes courage to bear enmity towards an enemy
How can a coward ever take revenge on an enemy!
You may break-up with Him a thousand times, Waseem,
I know a fact that He can summon whenever He likes!
Believe it or not, all these shers are about Death! These make death sound like an exhilarating experience almost like this one! Or maybe not… Anyway, I won’t try to interpret any of these shers for you, try your own hand (or brain) in interpreting these! I assure you, after these shers get ‘internalized’, you’ll feel worldly-wise! Lets continue…
हम ये तो नहीं कहते की हम तुझसे बड़े हैं,
लेकिन ये बहुत है की तेरे साथ खड़े हैं!
Hum ye to nahin kahte ki hum tujhse bade hain
Lekin ye bahut hai ki tere saath khade hain!
I am not saying that I am superior to you,
but it's enough that I'm standing beside you!
This sher is a repeat from this post but you did not notice that, did you? If I’d just shut up but you got to keep an eye on the Word Count, always the Word Count! Notice a similar instance here, if you can [hint: the left one on page 70…] before moving on!
लगा के देखले जो भी हिसाब आता हो,
मुझे घटाके वो गिन्ती में रह नहीं सकता!
Laga ke dekhle jo bhi hisaab aata ho,
Mujhe ghatake wo ginti mein rah nahin sakta.
Use all the known forms of counting,
'Subtracting' me won't make you Count!
This here is a great Arithmetic lesson! Also a great lesson in Confidence, Optimism & Persistence (COP?)! Somehow, whenever I think (a bit more than usual) about this particular sher, I am reminded of my father… I don’t know why! (or probably I don’t want to share it with you!) Before we get too personal, let us move on…
सलिका ही नहीं शायद उसे महसूस करने का,
जो कहता है खुदा है तो नज़र आना जरूरी है!
Salika hi nahin shayad use mahsoos karne ka
Jo kahta hai khuda hai to nazar aana jaroori hai!
Maybe feeling His presence is not a qualification I possess,
But whoever claims to be a God must be atleast perceptible!
Inverted (/Reversed/Opposing) sentiments compared to the last sher of the first video in some respect but elegantly (& correctly) put nevertheless! If you have been counting, I have put up (translated) 9 shers (2-liners) here. As was mentioned earlier, this was just for my own amusement and if you were also amused by all this, that was just collateral damage, do not hold me responsible for it. However, if you were not amused by all this, I have just this to say to you: “What the hell are you doing here till now, anyway?” Or “Did you bear with it because you overheard somewhere that it was going to get good?”
if (You Are Still Here) && (Inspired by His Shers)
goto A_Long_Visit_To
end
A_Long_Visit_To:
My Waseem Barelvi Playlist on YouTube
As you’ve noticed by now, the above link is not my usual end-of-the-post-link. That is because IT IS at THE END of this post where I’d like to invite you to check out my
Superspace Explorer, Path Localizer, Discharged Photographer, Outdated Programmer, Jack of 'all' Solvers
I thought of writing up a short fiction story along the lines of Futures’ stories in Nature. But, Damn… it’s hard just to come up with something, forget about it being Good! So I thought I’ll take up an abandoned project by PJ: to ‘publish’ quotes of Prof. Peter van Nieuwenhuizen from his QFT, SUSYGY & String classes. These are quotes as they were copied in my notebook during these classes or later from memory. They may not always be accurate word-by-word but within their context, they capture the relevant sentiment exactly (as is commonly said in certain circles: भावनाओं Bhavanaon को ko समझो samjho! [Translation: Understand the feelings!]). I am feeling too lazy to give the context for all these quotations so if some quote seems to have conflicting meanings, take the less ‘controversial’ one to be true! Here we go…
=>It is well-known to those who know it well.
=>It is not well-known that it is well-known.
=>It is known that there are no bound states but how it’s known is not known!
=>If you have a differential equation, you try to solve it!
=>So, Is the world based on Solitons? Mine Is!
=>It gets so deep that I no longer understand it. Though, I’ve also written a paper about it; on good days, I understand it and on bad days, I give it as a homework!
=>[Early stages in N=2 SYM monopoles’ calculations:]
1. General wisdom is wrong. (My paper first in this field!)
2. Cheat to prove M=Z but at least it’s Inventive Cheating!
3. Say I give up: These are honest people but you cannot write papers with that!
=>Ask two proponents of opposing camps and you go to get a cup of coffee. (The relations are not that good afterwards!)
=>There is a way you can write 16: 4x4. It’s not difficult, it’s just a lot of writing!
=>In higher (11) dimensions the gamma matrices are not 4-by-4 but more-by-more!
=>Witten theorem: Total derivatives on fermions do not contribute.
=>Shakespeare theorem: What’s in a name?
=>Professors: More learned they are, more theorems they know, less true they are!
=>Very few people are in this area. Hope it remains that way!
=>If Higgs is not found, Nature is not so nice!
=>[Dim.reg.by.Dim.red.] He refuses to look at this problem. This is one way to solve problems.
=>Nobody doubts now that we live in 10-D!
=>Anomalies in rigid symmetry: Field theory is all right but physics is bad!
=>Something changes in your life after you do a 2-loop calculation.
=>Anomaly times Anomaly is very anomalous but it is still there!
=>It is a good exercise to see how difficult it is!
=>A good theorist is always flexible. Gell-Mann is very good! [Quarks -> No Quarks -> Yes Quarks]
=>Best if you understand both & worst if you understand neither.
=>Wess & Zumino: 1 paper for 10 topics; Ordinary Physicists: 10 papers for 1 topic!
=>Kaluza was a mathematician (a theorist). How do you prove that? He did not know how to swim. So he bought a book which 'taught' swimming. After reading that book, he could swim!
=>8-D: When you are confused what to do with your life!
=>I’m on a different Riemann sheet. I’ll come back now.
=>Ha…i excels in no examples but only general theory; My notes excel in no general theory but only examples; If you take intersection, you are lost!
=>Wrong paper by me led BV to the right stuff!
=>If I stress everything, it’s stressful.
=>Deeper than deep; Maybe deeper even for nature!
=>0 (Zero) is always deep. There’s a reason behind it.
=>Either you are very famous or you made an error (or both)!
=>Stay away from K_n(x).
=>You can make it so complex that it looks profound! (longer & clearer)
=>Definition rules out the question!
These are almost all of the quotes of PvN I have recorded till now. The remaining ones are quite ‘controversial’ and he has explicitly tagged them with ‘these should not leave this classroom’! So that’s all for now. Wait, it seems the word count has not yet reached a respectable number. So now, I’d like to write my own random thoughts (lets refrain from calling these quotes!) since it’s my blog post to begin with and to end with, I write one (and only one) post in one month! Also, where else would you get to know my thoughts (random or not) unless you subscribe to ‘The Dharman Show’! Here we go again…
A) Definitions (There was such an exercise in English Grammar course in class IX!):
=>Illusions: Something that is and isn’t!
=>Misconceptions: Something that does but doesn’t work!
=>Misunderstandings: Something that is and isn’t right!
=>Overheard: When you are there!
=>Misheard: When you are but not there!
=>Unheard: When you are not quite there yet!
=>Sketchbook: What Sora holds!
=>Condescension: When ascent descends!
=>Death: Which scares less than waiting for someone!
B) Status Messages (These are inspired by some half/dim-witted status messages by one of my literally ‘love-struck’ brother!):
=>How can one be so dumb that one’s classification as a living being comes under scrutiny (forget about being a human being)?
[My bro wait here, Others may continue past the right bracket below: This may seem like a literal attack on You(r sense & sensibility) but I assure You, it is not!]
=>Why should one be afraid of one’s own maturity?
[To my Bro again, Others may continue past the right bracket below: This may seem like a literal attack on You(r sense of maturity) but I assure You, It Is!]
=>It takes courage to be a coward!
[Bro wait again, Others may continue past the right bracket below: This may seem like a literal attack on You(r sense of courage) but I assure You, IT IS NOT!]
C) Phrases (Whatever…):
=>Google Translator Magic: ‘お っぱい’ gets translated to ‘Your Farewell Dinner’; Remove the space after first character and ‘おっぱい’ translates to ‘Boobs’; Or shift the space behind second character to have ‘おっ ぱい’ translated as ‘Oops Bra’; and you can keep on playing...
=>Variable constants (a,b,c,…), Constant variables (x)!
=>R(ight)=W(rong)+C(orrections). If you are wrong by a large factor, then R=W(1+C/W) –> R=W for all practical purposes!
(Adapted from a talk by Dr. Robert Panoff)
Since, it has been proved now that it does not matter if you are Right or Wrong, I’ll leave you with some more insightful
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OMUs 1
“As the 2:20 PM bell rang that day as usual, the students from all sections of the classes VI to XII rushed out of the school building. I was one of them too. As we stepped out of the building’s side-door onto the brick-laden narrow pathway, I heard a guy’s voice murmuring, “You know that’s Dharmesh!” My ears instantly got directed towards that voice and the corner of my right eye caught a glimpse of two guys probably of class VII (+/-I) walking beside me. The other guy ‘rejected’ his friend’s hypothesis and added, “Dharmesh is taller than Him and Dharmesh must be in class X or XI.” I was in class XII at that time and I was also a bit interested in this character named Dharmesh! Why? Because Dharmesh was supposed to be an epitome, apotheosis even… of a student and I just wanted to meet him and get to know what made him so! But that guy’s comment made me realize my folly. It could not be such that just meeting Dharmesh would satisfy my curiosity! No, it could never be so simple because I had just realized that Dharmesh is just a myth, a legend, a fable… in fact, it is just a name thrown around by some people which gives others (like me & those guys) either a cold sweat or a cold shoulder. Thus, I was convinced that I could be a Dharmesh as well and nobody would be the wiser! However, I am glad that I was the Dharmesh they were talking about.”
The above paragraph may seem like a short fiction story I concocted but it is not true. That is a true story from nearly a decade ago along with the quoted and systematic uncertainties! To fill this month’s blog quota, I’ll take a walk down my memory lane and come up with some weird and hilarious (hopefully) anecdotes from my high school days. Here goes another one similar to the one above:
OMUs 2
“On some other auspicious day of class XII, I entered the school building’s same side-door after the bell announcing the end of our lunch-break sounded. There is a concrete railing, separating the walkways around the morning-assembly-ground inside the building, on which some students sit during the lunch-break. I saw two girls (probably of class VIII) on the railing as I entered and continued walking past them to get to the stairway on my left a little ahead of us. Just as I passed them, I heard one of their voice which (like before) murmured, “You know that’s Dharmesh!” The other girl’s voice replied, “Really, He looks kind of dumb, doesn’t he?” By this time, I had turned into the stairway, away from their sights & sounds and I could not help but smile!”
The following is a bit different than previous ones but still similar to them in some sense:
OMUs 3
“We used to have short quizzes with 10 or so questions picked from a given topic on Wednesdays after the morning assembly. Four teams representing four Houses (Annapurna, Dhaulagiri, Gaurishankar & Kanchenjunga) consisting of four members each would compete and the ‘points’ gained by each team would accumulate over the whole academic year and... This history is not important, what is important is that for the topic of ‘space science & space explorations’, I was recruited ‘against my wishes’ for Gaurishankar’s team when I was in class XI. On the chosen Wednesday, I donned a lackadaisical attitude and went to the designated place after all contestants had already gathered which frustrated my house captain a bit (as if I cared!). After meeting my team members, I began browsing through my competitors’ faces, I noticed a familiar face and most probably she also noticed me because the next sentence from her (to her team-mates) was, “Hey, Gaurishankar’s team has Dharmesh!” This apparently innocent & informative sentence was said in such a spirit-crushing tone that led me to wonder if even my presence was considered an ‘evil’ out here. Anyway, the quiz continued and as I ‘envisaged’ I was almost of no use to the team except that I got the first answer correct. I knew 2-3 more answers but my team members knew them too (they’d prepared well!) and I didn’t offer any more ‘assistance’. Finally, ‘we’ won that quiz (if I hadn’t contributed, there’d been a tie which is not that bad either!)… it was a first win for Gaurishankar that year and ‘our’ winning streak continued for a few more weeks!”
The following anecdote is quite ‘controversial’ and after a first reading, if you don’t get it, get over it and get on with your life. Do Not re-read this piece:
OMUs 4
“I used to go to the library after having my lunch for the remaining 15-20 minutes of the break. [A side note: I was the ‘only one’ allowed in the library during lunch-breaks without any questions asked. Others had to convince the librarians that they had to consult the reference books for some project or some other such excuse!] On that particular day of class X, I was stopped on my way to the library by a girl (the same one mentioned in OMUs 3) and was asked to select one of the two chocolate bars lying on her outstretched hands. I did not get whether she wanted me to tell her which one I liked most or was she offering me one. Assuming the later, I refused and went to the library. The bell sounded at the end of the lunch-break and I went back to the class. After sometime, she also came to the class and offered (it seemed more like ordered) me to take one. I refused again. By this time, another girl had entered the class and having heard our little exchange, she jumped in and ‘on my behalf’ told her, ‘If Dharmesh does not want it, why are you forcing him to take it?’ The reply was quick: “Who asked you to poke your nose in someone else’s business?”… And I was standing there near my seat looking dumb-founded listening to two girls quarrelling ‘over me’. My mind was now busy thinking of ways to get out of this unpleasant situation. I turned my head away from the bloody scene in front of me and my eyes ended up looking straight at yet another girl whose gaze disturbed me and on top of that, she smiled (out of pity probably) and I could not help but smile back! (Damn it… too many witnesses for this event!) Anyway, our teacher arrived shortly and a major ‘disaster’ was averted. Although those two girls dispersed towards their seats, I heard them telling their respective groups of friends about their quarrel and it seemed like hell was going to break loose later. I don’t know what happened between them after the days’ classes were over but I guess either their tempers were short-lived or they realized ‘fighting over me’ was not worth it!”
This post belongs to a series named OMUs as you would have probably guessed by now. This series along with other series well-known as IMMs will capture some of the comedies/tragedies my life has showered/will shower on me along the lines of ‘Sketchbook’. Keep looking out for more.
Halloween celebration in ‘Sketchbook’ [Relevant pages are 87-94!]
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Just because I'm egotistical doesn't mean I'm not brilliant. -W.C. Gall
As the title suggests, this post is about one of the 9 (Human) Virtues of all time: Condescension.
This virtue is defined/documented pretty well in this sher (couplet) by the great poet Waseem Barelvi:
हम ये तो नहीं कहते की हम तुझसे बड़े हैं,
लेकिन ये बहुत है की तेरे साथ खड़े हैं|
-वसीम बरेलवी
Hum ye to nahin kahte ki hum tujhse bade hain,
Lekin ye bahut hai ki tere saath khade hain.
-Waseem Barelvi
(I am not saying that I am superior to you,
But it’s quite enough that am standing beside you!
-Waseem Barelvi)
I’m sorry to those Hindi-illiterate souls who can not appreciate this sher due to the phenomenon well-known as ‘lost in translation’. I also agree with those Hindi-literate souls who think that this is at best a ‘rough’ translation. But it has been endorsed by Shantanu (of Humans-trying-to-be-God fame) so the feelings must have been accurately conveyed! Those who truly appreciated this, would probably like to see the full video and here it is:
Another ‘well-deserved’ instance of this virtue displayed by Waseem Barelvi is in the following video:
Actually, there are many minor instances you can notice but mainly I’d like to urge you to listen to him closely around 8:00 minutes when he says “आप aap थोड़े thode दिन din बाद baad समझलें samajhlein, कोई koi जरूरी jaroori नहीं nahin की ki अभी abhi शेर sher समझें samjhein आप aap!” (Translation: I’m not asking you to understand the sher today, you can do that a few days later!) This is what I call perfection of the Art and its ‘proof’ is the resounding applause he got after making that statement!
Someone else who is good at this Art is Saba Balrampuri. Consider the following sher which she recites from 2:50-3:10 minutes in the video following thereafter and the ‘subtle’ smile which emerges on her visage as she starts the second line! This is what distinguishes her from others as an experienced practitioner of the Art.
अभी आप वाकिफ़ नहीं दोस्ती से,
ना इज़हार फरमाईये दोस्ती का!
-सबा बलरामपुरी
Abhi aap waqeef nahin dosti se,
Naa izhaar farmaaeeye dosti ka!
-Saba Balrampuri
(You are not familiar with friendship,
So do not yet declare your friendship!
-Saba Balrampuri)
This is enough ranting about poets, lets move on to other forms of ‘entertainment’ – Cable TV. And who else is worthy enough to be mentioned in this category other than John Hodgman? If you don’t believe me, have a look at this video and learn what the great Artist has to teach you:
If you were thinking about the ‘who else?’ part of the last paragraph and you came up with a name to tell me… don’t bother! I already know who you are thinking about and here is an appetizer video of Him:
Yes, He Is Stephen Colbert, the great personality who has mastered the Art, the great Human who has ensnared the position of the God of Virtue of Condescension.
After you’ve reached the level of God, there isn’t any more room to move UP now, is there? So I will have to end this post now but I leave you with a link which forces on this post a periodic boundary condition (…as a sign of rebellion?)!
How I Spent My Summer Vacation
PS: If you didn’t understand the implication of the last sentence, that’s because you are staring at the link above and not clicking on it! I promise everything will make sense in a while after you click on it…
*Disclaimer: Recently(?), ‘getting offended on minor issues’ has become an obsession (or maybe it can be considered a dual to swine flu!)… So If you are easily offended, DO NOT READ this post. [But now that I think about it, if people understood & followed this statement, we would not have had so many ridiculous instances of ‘getting offended’, would we?]
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