Filler Posts-IV

We’re back here having watched Charlie Brooker’s 2016 Wipe and Cunk on Christmas, and I am glad that 2016 is ending with the ‘holiday’ season. Also, the last episodes of 8 out of 10 Cats does Countdown and QI this year were fun to watch.

What else? Waiting for Sherlock to show up sometime in the next couple of days. That should be good.😉

On another note, this has been a horrible year all year around. At some point of time in its later half, I remembered my old post ‘Rock-Bottom’ from ages ago (2011). I pondered on what prompted me to write it then and I couldn’t quite remember it. That post seems more relevant now than it could have been in 2011! Even though today is New Year’s Eve, let me indulge in writing more ‘rock-bottom’ one-liners. Hope this indulgence doesn’t dampen your festive spirits:

When you get afraid of trying out new ideas because the old ones didn’t work, you’ve hit rock-bottom!

When you start connecting disconnected events of your life to find some meaning for your life, you’ve hit rock-bottom!

When you start identifying clichés all over your life (like ‘Gone with the Wind…’) and you were sure they wouldn’t ever be there, you’ve hit rock-bottom!

When you see spiders on your jacket and throw it in the trash just because, you’ve hit rock-bottom!

When you start but couldn’t care less to complete the sen…

And two of my favourites from the last time,

When you remember them saying, “The only way you can go after hitting rock-bottom is UP…”, you’ve hit rock-bottom!

When you no longer want to provide an end-of-the-post-link, you’ve hit

rock-bottom!

Filler Posts - III

You must have guessed the drill by now. We’re back here after watching Jonathan Creek and what an episode it was! Quite simple yet riveting… But then maybe I just like Alan Davies talking like that.

In other para, I’ll just show you a chart and some numbers about my new SP4… taken with the help of MATLAB.☺

Quite good speed you’d say but does not feel that high compared to my ‘previous’ SP3 when considering the performance of SuDoKu Solver. The ‘hardest’ Sudoku now takes ~115s compared to ~150s earlier. I was hoping the upgrade from “i5” → “i7” might bring the time down to <90s. Anyway, I plan to study the time differences between SP3 & SP4 for solving the 10 or so ‘hardest’ Sudokus I have and post the analysis here on the blog sometime in the new year.

Polorama Generator & Keystone corrector are definitely faster, but I guess that’s mostly due to increased RAM (4GB → 8GB) and less so due to the increase in CPU speed, which reaches 3.3GHz compared to ‘just’ 2.5GHz on SP3. And ya, will share the updated Mathematica Benchmarks when they’re in (sometime in the new year one hopes). Till then, remember

2 more days to go…

Filler Posts - II

So we’re back here having watched the Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2016 and was it worth the wait! Oh Yes, it was. Here’s a small intro if you are interested:

TBFQotY 2016!

So what else is going on? Nothing much apparently. Anyway, remember I mentioned Sora in the last post and guess what? A new chapter of Sketchbook is online and I forgot to mention it then… Or, did I?😜

Sora looks so happy as am I waiting for more shows to air this week.

4 more days to go…

Filler Posts - I

As none of you know, we aim to have a multiple of 12 posts every year. And that number seems quite far-fetched to arrive at this year. So as a last ditch effort, we’ll have a post every alternate day starting today on Christmas till the New Year’s eve.

As all of you have guessed by now, that means there won’t be any agenda to any of these posts! That also means my Superpartner won’t be participating in this futile effort as She thinks this is beneath Her. So I will have to fill up this self-imposed criterion on the number of posts while she photographs Cats unlike Sora.😢

Hence let me tell you what I’m looking forward to in the last month (mostly week, actually) of this year:

• Mock the Week [14/12]
• Would I Lie to You? [19/12]
• 8Oo10C Does Countdown [24/12]
• The Big Fat Quiz of the Year [26/12]
• Jonathan Creek [28/12]
• Charlie Brooker's Year Wipe [29/12]
• Cunk on Christmas [29/12]
• 8Oo10C Does Countdown [30/12]
• Sherlock [1/1]
• The Big Fat Quiz of Everything [6/1]

These are, of course, Christmas / New Year specials of British comedy (panel) TV shows, except Jonathan Creek & Sherlock, which are detective shows but they do have some comedy so no problem putting then in the list above I guess. In addition, there are weekly shows currently on-air:

• Only Connect (Mon)
• 8 out of 10 Cats (Tue)
• QI (Fri)

And a few that have ended recently:

• Dave Gorman: Modern Life is Goodish
• Have I got News for You?
• No Such Thing as the News
• Women Talking about Cars

That’s it for today and do follow the link below for

More Details

Inevitable

That’s what has happened. The inevitable! Yes, the inevitable has happened after all these years. You won’t guess in a half-decade what I am talking about but that is precisely why this post exists.

Sheen Kaaf Nizaam’s Shayari has overtaken Bill Bailey’s Poetry after all these years. I’m referring to this, of course:

I missed the transition by 2 views… so close yet a lost opportunity. I am not hyperlinking those posts so that the balance is not disturbed by people just clicking the first link and not the second or vice-versa.

Enjoy the last month of this dreadful year.

Happy December!

Updates

This post, after a long time, is about the things that we have been up to. So while He is going back & forth on his research, I’m trying to study about Deep learning, Machine learning, Neural Networks, etc. According to Him, research feels like taking two steps forward and immediately taking one step backward. That doesn’t sound too bad given that you are at least taking one step forward in 3x amount of time. The question though is about the magnitude of these steps. How large are these steps backward and how small/big is the step forward and do the steps backward impact the steps forward in terms of planning and action. It’s all very complicated, so let us leave it there for Him and instead talk about me.

I chose Analytics because it was the coolest job when I graduated – not too much of ‘baseball gossips or horserace predictions’ which the strategists do. We were looking at the real data and helping make better decisions. Thanks to a few people who started capturing all kinds of data – social media, digital, GPS, health, shopping and what not – everything has become quite challenging. It has made the field of ‘Analytics’ foray into complex algorithms and sophisticated decision engines. We can no longer get away by saying ‘hotel and flight bookings happen together’ or ‘diapers and beer are bought on Thursdays’. Everyone seems to know these kind of things. So what do we do – predict things that even the person himself doesn’t know.

I’m no computer scientist, I’m a data scientist. I try to build stable&accurate&strong predictive models. I can’t incorporate funny social media & digital data, people’s feelings and emotions into my models. I don’t even know my own feelings – one minute I’m feeling cold, the other minute I’m hungry. And several of the things people write on social media are lies, anyway. If you don’t believe me, look at all the pictures people put on their friendly accounts. Everyone there is sharing happy pictures or travelling or getting married or introducing their newborns. Hardly people say they are stressed or they hate the snow or how they argued with their father for hours this morning. Nobody says these kind of things but it doesn’t mean they not happening. Most importantly, why should we use something just because it’s available. The fact that I go to a high-end mall everyday doesn’t mean I should receive promotional messages of Gucci & Prada. I go there because my office is located next to the mall. I don’t even have the slightest interest in those bags, so why waste your call center’s time, energy and all other kind of resources on me. Now if you still don’t believe me, please watch Modern Life is Goodish  and write a thank you note to me if you happen to like it which you most probably will.

Having said all that, I think I’m a person who is afraid of changes. I don’t despise learning new tools and technology but I wish I could live a little bit like my mother who knew what her home was going to be for the next 20 years unlike me who is not sure of the next second. Adapting to these changes takes quite a bit of my time, makes me write less on the blog and all I can be is apologetic.

We travelled to India last month – Bangalore for most of the time and for a few days to Rajasthan, Agra and Delhi as well. Celebrating Diwali with the Physicist & family for the first time was a pleasant one. As I’m talking about India, I think I should give a first hand experience on the drive towards Demonetization happening in the country. I consider myself lucky to have been there when it was announced. There was more chaos after the news in an already chaotic place. The country currently seems to be divided not by race, religion, gender, colour and class, instead by people who are for and against this concept. 86% of the total currency notes by value (the two highest denomination notes) were rendered worthless in a surprise announcement. The idea is to fight against fake currency notes, money launderers, corruption & scams, and undeclared income. It also serves the purpose of moving towards a cashless economy leaving less room for hidden transactions. We were part of the long queues in front of the banks for deposits / exchanges / withdrawals and holding new currency notes in hand did feel like something good was happening in the country. Though all this has led to a slowdown, less demand, lower interest rates, a passive outlook in the economy, I guess it is all worth if it solves the bigger problem.

         

For some foggy pictures, please refer to our album. As my dear friend Mukta said, “Your pictures look more romantic with the fog” to which I said “I don’t know what you are talking about but the Postdoc definitely seems to have a receding hairline and a growing belly; both traits that I’m disliking at the moment.”

My curiosity for the royal families [it’s not Great Britain specific] seems to be growing stronger and instead of revising periodic table, I’m watching documentaries and memorizing family trees and figuring out who is remotely connected to whom.

I have bought a Lumia 950 XL although it hasn’t been delivered yet. I ordered it from amazon.co.uk because the phone is either not available or out of stock or highly priced in Asia and also because international shipping from UK was available. To give a context, Lumia 950 XL’s production has been stopped and I’m trying to procure one of the last few pieces that are still available. Friends have questioned my ‘loyalty’ to Microsoft – basically why I use Bing, Edge, SP4, Lumia, Cortana, etc. I use them because I’m used to them and as mentioned above, I’m afraid of changes. I hope to write again around Christmas but if I’m not able to, then ‘Bing.com’ on ‘Edge’ will give you company. Happy holidays if you are taking vacations and happier winters if you will see it snow.

Volume 12

Contentment is knowing that you are right. Happiness is knowing that someone else is wrong. –Bill Bailey

I and my Superpartner have come to an agreement that I’ll be content and she’ll be happy or vice-versa, depending on who steps on whose foot the first thing in the morning.

Anyway, right now I am both happy and content because Sketchbook volume 12 has recently been released. Not only released but has found its way to me just after 4 days of it being released! EMS takes its job pretty seriously. So without further delay, here are some adorable photos of THE BOOK:

Here you have Ao – the ‘troubled’ brother of Sora – in full glory adorning the cover of this highly-anticipated volume (by me at least!). I guess Ooba-san missed her chance this time again.

As is customary here on this blog, I will share photos of a few pages that I find interesting and hilarious some days later. As a sneak peek, let me share the themes of the chapters for now (Disclaimer: These show my gut feelings not actual understanding because I don’t know how to read/write/speak Japanese!):

Chapter	Theme
159	Slugs. (Also, Kokage explains Abstract Art to Ao?)
160	Kei & Takane discuss ‘Frog & Prince’ story…
161	Hazuki visits Sora and they try baking cake… with Ao’s help!
162	Different hairstyles & Kate’s confusion with words (as usual).
163	Kei & Takane meet SuzuKaze combo (for the first time?).
164	Sora, Daichi, Kokage, Nagisa & of course, Bugs!
165	Asaka, Nagisa & of course, Grasshoppers vs. Locusts.
166	Kei & Takane meet Asaka & Daichi fighting with their Monsters!
167	Kate teaching English to others…
168	Asaka, Daichi, Nagisa & of course, Ichthyology!
169	Intro of a ‘new’ character w/ SuzuKaze combo…
170	Sora, Juju, SuzuKaze, Nagisa & of course, Ornithology!
171	Sora, Kei, Takane, Kokage, Nagisa & of course, Entomology!
172	High jinks of SuzuKaze combo & Kate (the usual)…
173	Entomology and Botany too with Nagisa…
174	Sora, Kei & Takane want to attract birds (bit more Ornithology).

Last nut lot beastly, if you’re wondering about the source of the quote above, here you go:

Source

Highlights from my US Trip

My travelogues are forever late and this one is so too. I travelled both to the West and East coast when I went to the US in July this time. I basically just did a lot of touristy things and walked a lot, to the extent that my ankle got a sprain towards the end of the journey, which took almost about 2 weeks to heal. I travelled to San Francisco, Dublin, Los Angeles, Las Vegas and Greenwood, touching 3 lovely states meeting a few friends & family along the way. I met Him at Stony Brook after my trip in the West and we also travelled to Boston. For little details on what all we covered and where all we went, refer to the album.

I know we can find zillions of pictures on the internet but have a look at mine too please. I can guarantee one thing with my albums that they have less portraits. That will disappoint you if you are looking for portraits. If you are disappointed enough by now, let me just share with you some interesting bits from the trip:

Someone asked me if I was an American or British?! It made me shudder. I wanted to ask ‘How/What makes you think that?’ but I didn’t.  If it was a joke, I just wanted to laugh at it. If it was a sarcastic question, I didn’t want to understand it. I just replied with a simple ‘Neither’.

Before this trip, I had always thought there was just one plant which grew in deserts, one that required less water (or no water) to grow and that it was named Cactus. But I saw dozens and dozens of different Cacti (or Cactuses) in California. Also, it was strange to find out that the oh-so-popular-California was a drought-stricken state.

I also thought Las Vegas was about young, eccentric, crazy people who love to gamble. As they show in movies, my perception was that people got engaged & married without themselves realizing. I wouldn’t say my perception was entirely incorrect. But it was also about average & sane people, happy & elderly people playing on the machines in casinos.

Vegas was so hot in the day time that one could drink a swimming pool full of water and still remain dehydrated. I realized that meals in US go hot & cold hand-in-hand. It isn’t always a hot meal as in China. People question me here if I buy a cold drink after a hot meal. They are concerned when I order cold noodles or eat ice-creams for lunch. Here people like to have warm water, hot soup, and even hot desserts.

               

Jason, our host in Boston, told us a Spanish proverb on a fine morning:
“There are 2 types of lazy people: those who get up late & do nothing, and others who get up early only to have more time to do nothing.”

Martin Roček, one of the YITP professors at Stony Brook didn’t shake hands with me (as he had flu), he shook elbows which was a unique gesture to say the least.

What the… Bleach?

More than a decade… all gone poof in one chapter numbered 686. That is just another way of saying: One of the greatest, long-running manga ‘Bleach’ has ended!

And what an end that was. I can’t say I enjoyed the ‘end’ of Bleach as much as I’d have liked… It’s not that what was covered in this last chapter was underwhelming. It was more about what was not covered and shown that overwhelmed me. It was shown that things have settled down and people have moved on… (I was also disappointed when I couldn’t recognize the main character when he first appeared in this chapter as his ‘moved-on’ self!) But given that a couple of chapters earlier, there were fierce Battles (yes battleS, with a capital B and capital S) raging on, it seemed quite a jump-cut-paste to “everything turned out fine” ending.

Everything turned out fine in ‘InuYasha’; everything turned out fine in ‘FullMetal Alchemist’; things turned out well in ‘Scrapped Princess’ (recently re-watched with my Superpartner); hell, even it turned out well in ‘Naruto’ but that ‘fine’-ness and ‘well’-ness was introduced after the ongoing ‘conflicts’ were dealt with in reasonable detail. Their endings seemed to fit in nicely with the previous build-up and resolution of conflicts. But in Bleach, the build-up was excruciatingly detailed as much as the resolution was swift. And that threw me off my balance. That made me think of open-ended stories. That makes me expect more of Bleach next week.

And most importantly, that makes me no more wiser as to why the hell is this manga titled ‘Bleach’? or…

Is it ‘Breach’?

The Great Wall

After 1.5 years in China, I finally stepped outside the province of Guangdong. Thanks to a SAS conference in Beijing, I travelled there last month. Beijing is very cold in the winters and quite dry & hot in the summers. I was more anxious than excited, anxious about the pollution levels there. People told me that it’s impossible to travel without masks and people sometimes have to inhale imported bottles of fresh air to survive. I stayed there for 4 days and the pollution index was never more than 120 ppm which isn’t so bad.

Beijing looked very historical to me. It was a nice combination of the old & the new, the ancient & the modern, the lively & the quiet. The locals told me there are at least 30 million registered residents in Beijing and the whole city is nothing but a series of circles of different radii. The cost of the apartments increases depending on how far you live from the center of the city. Surprisingly people of Beijing seemed very happy. Pollution and extreme climate had no effect on their love for the city.

The first day we went to a Park, basically just one side of a large park called ‘Altar of the Sun’. As we walked along the park, Vivian, my colleague from office told me a bit of the Chinese history. Some of the kings from the Ming, Qing and Song Dynasties had 40+ children and how they felt it was important to have many sons because a large family was equivalent to a strong family. After the park visit, we had dinner at one of the old Beijing houses which was converted into a restaurant. They served the best of fish, prawns, shrimps and other sea-food to people who could eat them and sympathized with vegetarians like me (the only one there). I have no idea why they do so. I happily enjoyed the mushroom soup, special greens, baked eggplant and lots of fresh fruits.

The second day was us attending the conference and getting hit by what Marketing does to people, the latest of which I realized was having a robot on the premises. The sessions were mostly in Mandarin. They gave me a Bosch earphone to hear the translations. I figured someone at the back end was translating stuff. The device was handy only in the morning because it stopped working by the noon. I guess the translators got too tired by then. After a long day of trying to understand what was being said, I tagged along with people to a famous Beijing restaurant where they wanted to try the Beijing specialty “roasted duck”. I felt that the cooks had some special talent in cutting vegetables and meat. While returning, I looked at the skyscrapers and tall buildings which were beautiful in the evening lights. I thought of India and wondered how many years behind we actually were. People usually state things like 10/15 years. My question is, how far ahead/behind will we be then?

We went to the ‘Great wall’ on the 3rd day of our trip. A wonderful person named Sha came along to show us around. We started our walk to Badaling (one of the areas of the wall) and it wasn’t very easy. I was requesting my fellow travelers to take the rope car while going up but they weren’t convinced. There are steps only in a few stretches and mostly one needs to walk on steep stony slopes. People were gasping for breath, so was I. I took very many breaks before reaching the top of just a small part of the wall. I observed that the wall stretches for miles and Sha told me that the construction of the wall hasn’t stopped. They are either repairing something or building more. There were some ‘Hero Stones’ where one could stand and take photos to feel like a ‘Hero’ I guess. Many stones had names of people engraved on them. The sky was blue that day and I took some nice pictures (all from the phone). I also did something funny of sending post cards to people from a small post office at the Wall. I soaked my feet in very hot water that night and prayed for the ache in my legs to ease. It did work and I slept for 9 hours without moving an inch.

On the final day of our trip, we went to Tianenmen Square & looked at Forbidden city from outside. The square area had all sorts of places that a capital city should have. There were flags everywhere, large & wide administrative buildings & I enjoyed learning more of China’s history from Vivian. We also did some shopping for friends & family. I admired the extensive Metro system (16 lines that even colours are difficult to distinguish) & the 16-lane roads (with one allowed to take one’s car either on the odd or even days) that Beijing has.

It was a short trip & I plan to travel to Xian, Shanghai, Chengdu, Mongolia and Tibet someday.

D. Bones & Clocks

How many of you remember the cartoon called “SWAT Kats”?

Doesn’t matter… This post is NOT about cartoons featuring cats. This post isn’t about the book by David Mitchell either. The novelist not the comedian, who is also a great read / listen / watch.

This post is about photos of the book cover taken with my Panasonic GX7 under various circumstances. Let’s go through them one by one:

Manual: f/5.2, 1/100s, ISO200, AWB with Flash (Vivid Colour Style)

iAuto: f/4.0, 1/20s, ISO3200, AWB with No Flash (Standard)

The following photos showcase some of the built-in Art Filters I find interesting.

Expressive: f/4.0, 1/15s, ISO3200, AWB with No Flash

D.Monochrome: f/4.0, 1/20s, ISO3200, AWB with No Flash

Impressive Art: f/4.0, 1/25s, ISO3200, AWB with No Flash

Toy Pop: f/4.0, 1/13s, ISO3200, AWB with No Flash

One Color: f/4.0, 1/20s, ISO3200, AWB with No Flash

Finally, a proper full-on cover-shot:

Manual: f/8.0, 1/125s, ISO400, AWB with Flash (Vivid Colour Style)

Hope you’re buying the latest in the GX series…

85/80/7 Mark II

Overdose of Shayari

I watched Umrao Jaan (again) last week and enjoyed listening to a lot of beautiful Ghazals in this movie. O and what a movie this is – the stunning and charismatic Rekha, great actors like Farooq Sheikh and Naseeruddin Shah, the movie cannot go wrong. Now I can’t wait to share some of my favourite Ghazals from this movie.

जुस्तुजू जिस की थी उस को तो न पाया हम ने
इस बहाने से मगर देख ली दुनिया हम ने

Justuju jis ki thi us ko to na paaya ham ne
Is bahaane se magar dekh li duniya ham ne

I could not get what I desired the most
At least I got to see the world along the way

सब का अहवाल वही है जो हमारा है आज
ये अलग बात कि शिकवा किया तन्हा हम ने

Sab ka ahwal vahi hai jo hamaara hai aaj
Ye alag baat ki shikva kiya tanha ham ne

Everyone’s condition is the same as mine today
Though it’s different that I complained in silence

ख़ुद पशीमान हुए न उसे शर्मिंदा किया
इश्क़ की वज़ को क्या ख़ूब निभाया हम ने

Khud pashimaan huye na usey sharminda kiya
Ishq ki vaza ko kya khoob nibhaaya ham ne

Neither did I repent nor did I shame him
I have well fulfilled the custom of love

कौन सा क़हर ये आँखों पे हुआ है नाज़िल
एक मुद्दत से कोई ख़्वाब न देखा हम ने

Kaun sa kahar ye aankhon pe hua hai naazil
Ek muddat se koi khwaab na dekha ham ne

What kind of a tragedy has befallen these eyes
That I have not dreamt for quite a while

उम्र भर सच ही कहा सच के सिवा कुछ न कहा
अज्र क्या इस का मिलेगा ये न सोचा हम ने

Umra bhar sach hi kaha sach ke siva kuch na kaha
Ajra kya is ka milega ye na socha ham ne

Have always spoken truth, nothing but the truth
I never thought of what will be its consequences

~~

ज़िन्दगी जब भी तेरी बज़्म में लाती है हमें
ये ज़मीं चाँद से बेहतर नज़र आती है हमें

Zindagi jab bhi teri bazm mein laati hai hamein
Ye zameen chaand se behtar nazar aati hai hamein

Whenever life brings me in your company
This Earth looks much better than the Moon

सुर्ख फूलों से महक उठती हैं दिल की राहें
दिन ढले यूँ तेरी आवाज़ बुलाती है हमें

Surkh phoolon se mehak uthti hain dil ki raahein
Din dhale yun teri aawaaz bulaati hai hamein

The roads to my heart smell of red flowers
Your voice invites me so as the Sun sets

याद तेरी कभी दस्तक, कभी सरगोशी से
रात के पिछले पहर रोज़ जगाती है हमें

Yaad teri kabhi dastak, kabhi sargoshi se
Raat ke pichle pahar roz jagaati hai hamein

Your memories knock sometimes, whisper other times
To wake me up during the late hours of every night

हर मुलाक़ात का अंजाम जुदाई क्यूँ है
अब तो हर वक़्त यही बात सताती है हमें

Har mulaaqaat ka anjaam judaai kyun hai
Ab to har waqt yahi baat sataati hai hamein

Why is the end to every meeting a parting?
These thoughts trouble me often these days

~~

दिल चीज़ क्या है आप मेरी जान लीजिये
बस एक बार मेरा कहा मान लीजिये

Dil cheej kya hai aap meri jaan lijiye
Bas ek baar mera kaha maan lijiye

What’s in a heart, you may have my soul
But just for once, you believe in my goal

इस अंजुमन में आपको आना है बार-बार
दीवार-ओ-दर को गौर से पहचान लीजिये

Is anjuman mein aapko aana hai baar-baar
Deewar-o-dar ko gaur se pehchaan lijiye

You will come to this gathering again and again
Make sure to recognize these walls and doors well

माना के दोस्तों को नहीं दोस्ती का पास
लेकिन ये क्या के गैर का अहसान लीजिये

Maana ke doston ko nahin dosti ka paas
Lekin ye kya ke gair ka ehsaan lijiye

I know friends do not have much regards for friendship
But what’s this that you ask for favours from strangers

कहिये तो आसमां को ज़मीं पर उतार लाएं
मुश्किल नहीं है कुछ भी अगर ठान लीजिये

Kahiye to aasmaan ko zameen par utaar laaen
Mushkil nahin hai kuch bhi agar thaan lijiye

I can bring down the Sky to Earth if you ask
Nothing is too difficult once a decision is made

– शहरयार (Shahryar)

More Errors in Translation

Let us continue lambasting Translator (see this post for our previous attempt). We are going to keep doing this till the camera translation for Japanese is released in the Win10 (mobile) app(s).

Now where to begin! These sentences are not even in the same equivalence class… The Hindi sentence (literally) means “I am very grateful to you?”. Yes, you must have noticed something. The sentence doesn’t have an interrogative word so how the hell can it be a question! The English sentence should actually translate to something like: मुझे आपको कितना चुकाना है?

After this, my Superpartner suggested we try translating our own sentences in the Translator to see how well it does instead of getting fired up at the stock phrases on the app’s live tile. I asked her to shoot off 10 random sentences at me; I typed them up in Translator and Translator did its job. Here are the results of that experiment:

1. Let us have a Skype call. ⇒ हमें एक Skype कॉल है।

Crap! Not a good start. It should have been something like: चलो हम एक Skype कॉल करते हैं।

2. This is very expensive. ⇒ यह बहुत महंगा है।

On the mark!

3. Can I bargain on this? ⇒ मैं इस पर सौदेबाजी कर सकते हैं?

Aaah… almost right but the Pronoun-Verb matching is not the Translator’s strong point as we already know! So the last two words should read: सकता हूँ and probably it is also better to add क्या in the front to make it a proper question.

4. Today is very humid. ⇒ आज बहुत उमस है।

Bingo!

5. I am looking for some cheap souvenirs. ⇒ मैं कुछ सस्ते स्मृति चिन्ह के लिए देख रहा हूँ।

Almost perfect. Just omit के लिए. And instead of देख, use खोज to show ‘better’ grasp of Hindi than just literal translation.

6. Is there a flat for rent here? ⇒ वहाँ एक फ्लैट यहाँ किराए के लिए है?

Not a great translation on the face of it because it took ‘there’ literally. The translation can easily be salvaged by just changing the first word (for 'there') to क्या and it sounds perfect!

7. Where is my next assignment? ⇒ मेरी अगली काम कहाँ है?

Dammit, get the genders right! काम is masculine so use मेरा अगला instead of मेरी अगली!

8. What is cooking in your mind? ⇒ क्या आपके मन में पक रहा है?

All the right words but sounds weird! I don’t even know how to translate the Hindi phrase back to English. The right sounding sentence just needs the first word moved to the fourth place: आपके मन में क्या पक रहा है?

9. Shall we go to the park today? ⇒ हम पार्क करने के लिए आज चलें?

This is about parking a car or what? How can one park a car today? It should be deducible that ‘park’ has another meaning here. The translation should be simply: क्या हम आज उद्यान (पार्क) चलें?

10. I am taking my baby for a ride. ⇒ मैं मेरे बच्चे एक सवारी के लिए ले जा रहा हूँ।

Almost there… Just need to insert को after बच्चे. (We are too familiar with both Hindi & English to explain why that simple insertion is needed for the sentence to make sense but it is!) A slighlty better translation would be: मैं अपने बच्चे को (एक सवारी पर)/ घुमाने ले जा रहा हूँ।

So there you have it… Judge Translator on your own time.

Hindi and/or Urdu